10. Manta Ray
Manta rays are like the living carpets of the sea, if a
manta ray doesn’t want you to see it, you’re not going to see it unless
your foot gives it an accidental happy ending. One of the manta ray’s
best defences from predators is its natural ability to hide under the
sand. Which is why you should feel sorry for those manta rays cursed
with albinism, if only because it makes them look like a floating
sanitary towel.
9. Hummingbird
Hummingbirds are well known for their bright feathers and the fact that their tiny tongues are like knives, thanks for that tip, Principle Skinner.
So imagine the surprise Kevin and Bethany Shank experienced when they saw a ghostly white hummingbird darting about their back garden, haunting their property with the gentle buzzing generated by the furious flapping of its tiny wings. Seeing an albino hummingbird is incredibly, if not impossibly rare. Mainly due to the fact most hummingbirds flap their wings so hard they get stuck in a time pocket where the bad guys from Superman 4 throw eggs at them.
8. Cobra
The cobra is considered to be one of nature’s perfect predators by many and a writhing phallic metaphor that mocks you with its size by me, right now.
Its fearsome reputation comes from the fact it’s able to blend perfectly with its environment, something an albino snake finds impossible, unless its home happens to be the table directly in front of Tony Montana or a paper factory. Which is why Goya the albino cobra had to be given special treatment, because he simply wasn’t street enough to survive in the wild on his own. Leading to many of his snakey friends to note how most cobras slither like this, while Goya the white cobra slithers like this! Probably.
7. Chameleon
The chameleon, despite being one of natures most unique creatures is known only for its ability to change colour. Think of chameleons as that one guy at a party who can do a back-flip. It doesn’t matter how interesting he is, people only want to see the back-flip, if he can’t do one, he may as well just go home. Chameleons are like that, only with changing colour instead of back-flips.
Which must suck for this unfortunately albino chameleon, who despite being even more awesome than his fellow chameleons, has lost the one ability everyone knows him for.
When you’re best known for being exactly one colour and nothing else, you suck at being a chameleon.
6. Skunk
The skunk’s iconic white stripe is what lets people know that they’re potentially seconds away from smelling worse than raw sewage someone set on fire and rubbed vegemite on.
The all white skunk on the other hand is like a tiny white ninja, without its trademark colouration, you can’t even tell that this thing is a skunk. Until it gets too close, and by then, it’s too late. The cute little cat-like creature that seemed to be begging for a tummy scratch has just butt burped all over your new threads and you now smell like Satan’s bathroom.
That’s just another day for the humble albino skunk.
5. Albino Leopard
The albino leopard may be the most common of the albino big cats, but he’s still a pretty rare fine. In fact, the only photos taken of the albino leopard are of a stuffed one in the UK.
It’s gaping maw is seemingly stuck in a constant scream of anguish, almost as if the leopard is being forced to realise that it’s one of the rarest animals on Earth and the most common photo that exists of it makes it look like someone just delivered a swift kick to its albino coin purse. Sucks to be you, albino leopard.
4. Koala
Koalas are chill as hell, they spend almost all of their time either asleep, or eating. Not to mention they always look like they’ve just partaken of an illicit drug. If all the animals on Earth threw a party, the koala would be the guy transfixed on the fish tank wondering where his pizza went.
As far as the world knows, only one albino koala exists. He lives in the San Diego Zoo and his name is Onya-Birri, which is aboriginal for “ghost boy” which can only mean that aboriginal ghosts all look like koalas. Man, Australia sound cool. Well except for all the giant spiders and stuff.
3. Bat
Remember the Ace Ventura movie? No wait, that’s a stupid question, everyone reading this will of course have it on a constant stream, as is required by law. For those of you who like to live dangerously or have sent your DVD of the film to be cleaned, in the film Ace Ventura is sent to find a mythical white bat. A giant flapping monstrosity that only communicates through a combination of screams and explosive bat diarrhoea.
An image that will be instantly removed from you head when you see this little albino bat sitting on someone’s thumb. It’s less terrifying-monster-of-death, and more thing-you-want-to-feed-hugs. After seeing it I’m actually starting to suspect that Ace Ventura isn’t a documentary.
2. Snail
Chances are that most of you reading this will only think about snails when it rains and you feel that all too familiar wet crunch when you step outside. Which is a shame because snails are amazing creatures, they can safely slide across a razor blade for kicks and giggles and they drink beer because snails are the original party animal.
Some trampers (take a moment to soak that word in if you want) in New Zealand found an impossibly white, albino snail while tramping, I guess. An albino snail. Okay, I’ll be the first one to say it, I had no idea that snails could be albino. I genuinely just learned something today.
1. Humans
Albinism is a popular topic online, because it’s pretty awesome to see animals that look like living Greek statues. But it’s often the case that people get so caught up looking at the pretty animals, they forget that it’s a serious condition that affects people too.
The condition affects not only skin pigmentation and vision, but if you’re unlucky enough to be born with the condition in some areas of Africa, people will straight up murder you to use your corpse in witchcraft. If you’re having a hard time imagining that, just picture that scene from District 9 where the grinning war lord tries to eat Wikus’ arm, only real, and actually happening. Also, there are no aliens.
So if you think you’re having a bad day, at least people aren’t hunting you to eat your skin. So that’s something positive you can focus on!